ANARCHIST LITE- stunting for the media

Jeffrey Monoghan on May 10, his trainer beard shaved off, sans the ball cap, ready for his 15 minutes. Still posing for the camera, but he's certainly no anarchist. Just embarrassing himself.

This was Jeffrey Monaghan on May 1, posing in his AK PRESS ball cap with an old example of popcorn anarchist literature. Posing with a cute drawing of a bomb, rather than just a bomb. He's a "bookseller" who skims newspapers for the Feds and plays in a rock band. Kool-Aid anarchism in Canuckistan.

The story began with this headline: THE ANARCHIST AND THE LEAK. It detailed the arrest of a federal employee who got his hot little hands on some documents detailing the Tories confidential plans to position themselves as serious players in the great "Let's Fight Man-Made Global Warming" scam. Said employee, young Jeff Monaghan, (no covert operator he) went to his nearest STAPLES office supply centre and faxed the pages to another bunch of Harper haters - the local Environmental lobby. What's more hilarious is that the Tories even stamp their "Eco-Plan" bullshit with the word "Secret". Videotaped blinking and gulping on Parliament Hill, the young "victim" of Big Brother complained: “Our society knows the threat presented by the changing climate, global warming, and the rapidly increasing growth of industrial emissions... We deserve real action, not cynically calculated PR campaigns and witch-hunts on public servants.” Anarchist as "public servant"? What does he smoke?

Jeffrey Monoghan's Mini-bio: current age 27, a part time employee of Environment Canada where his job was to skim up to 48 newspapers a day to clip environment stories, and then pass a summary up the bureaucratic food chain. He's a former student at Carleton University and campus radio personality and a devoted heterosexual. Until now his claim to fame was a drummer in a band called The Suicide Pilots (A twin-towers homage? Silly stuff) and a volunteer staffer at the newly opened EXILE INFOSPOT bookstore in Ottawa. For those too dumb to get it, the pilots have posted

a cartoon on their MySpace page where you can also give a listen to their

silly songs. "gah, gah,gah, gah..... Harper Yoo - ooth."

According to THE TORONTO STAR the "pilots" like to belt out lyrics about the alleged rise of the "right-wing" and the naked power of the wealthy. His performing name is "Bones". One ditty called called "HARPER YOUTH" compares Prime Minister Stephen Harper to Adolf Hitler, leader of the new Hitler Jugend. "Give me your fear, give me your hate, give me your intolerance and I'll give you a place in the Harper Youth."

Ee eye, ee eye, owe.

I couldn't help grinning when I saw this non-story pop up. Now even the freaking pseudo-anarchists are buying into this Global Warming Apocalypse shtick. In Canada "anarchism" is such a dead political philosophy that you couldn't find it if you spun the Hubble telescope around and trained it on a campus. But leave it to the wacky Ottawa press corps to find a use for the label "anarchist" for just one day.

"Monaghan was inside man! He got inside the fortress of mean, Dude!" Why didn't he pull a "Tyler Durden" and head for the Parliamentary cafeteria? He could have done more damage to the Tories by pissing in their salads than he has posturing as an anarchist for the bored press corps. The sad truth is that young Monaghan doesn't really want to be an anarchist. That's work. That's commitment. That's self sacrifice. He just wants to be a recognized face, or a wiki page, like every other Canadian you meet. Labeling yourself an "anarchist" doesn't make you one, any more than labeling someone a "fascist" makes them one.

A hundred years ago the real Anarchists were a feared bunch here in North
America, and they had the backing of an equally feared labour movement - the I.W.W. Then, after World War 1, they all defected to the Communists because - surprise! ... they too favoured BIG GOVERNMENT. But it had to be a bloated bureaucracy that was a puppet of labour, not of the tycoons.

Just what sort of "anarchist" are the Ottawa Mounties dealing with? Well let's let the "Treasurer" of the EXILE INFOSPOT book emprium speak out.

From the punk website - Brownout's Blurbs:
"About me: I have returned from the Great Western Adventure! Living in Ottawa for a while at least. Concerts are my favorite thing in the entire world. I strive to not let THE POLICE STATE rule my life. I am interested in WHAT I AM SUPPORTING or not supporting... Spreading the word of corruption, exploitation and abuses of power... believe me, I too am losing hope... I also skateboard, snowboard, hitchhike, play bass, and play ukulele. I want to learn how to grow vegetables. I've co-organized 5 free outdoor Tumbleweed music festivals, and DIY punk music has been my life since the first non-stadium show I ever went to. I've worked for three record labels/music collectives: Tumbleweed Entertainment, DPS Music, No Records. LET'S BUILD AN ECOVILLAGE! proclaim our disagreement with capitalism, consumption, corruption, and environmental degradation. We'll represent everything capitalist society destroys: equality, awareness, respect, freedom."

The lovely Ms. Arpin models a Loose Screws anarchist black T. It's Skyraider napalming chic.

You can sleep comfortably tonight kids. The real anarchists today are holed up in the Afghan mountains with Osama or perhaps sleeping in ugly stucco bungalows in Surrey, B.C.